Right. For any of you who might be coming to visit us in London in May, this post aims to set out a few of the more useful tips (or refreshers) which might make getting around London easier.
First, despite the apparent breakdown of cohesion in society (as evidenced by hooded youths and graffiti), Britain is very much a law-abiding, rule-happy place. Just as, at the highest level, the British judiciary is globally reputed to be incorruptible, the average man and woman in the British street holds amongst his / her most prized ideals the sense of fair play (treating everyone equally and impartially). This rule-love is evidenced in sport by the game of cricket, which is really more a set of bewildering rules than a sport. In other aspects of society, the centrality of fair play and rule infatuation can be seen in the British obsession with queuing (i.e., forming a line) – at the bank, at bus stops, wherever.
So, in order that you don’t offend anyone by infringing the rules that hold British society together, here are a few tips.
1. Queuing
Don’t worry about forming a queue (unless it’s obvious there’s already a queue). The truth is, although the British (and Londoners in particular) are obsessed with queuing as a concept – especially queuing for buses – they’re rubbish at it in practice. You of course get proper queues at airport security, banks, etc., where they use barriers to herd people into queues. But that’s cheating. When it comes to public transport, people rarely queue. On the Tube you usually have to fight to get on the train. And people usually crowd around the doors of a bus when it pulls up.
The only time I ever saw an orderly queue for a bus was at Waterloo Station at rush hour one morning. There were so many people waiting for the bus that it was clear they could not all make it, so people just stood in the order they arrived so that they would, eventually, get a bus (without having to fight for a spot). It was a beautiful, but a rare, sight. And it was nearly fatal for one poor lady.
You’ll probably never see an orderly queue.
2. Mind the Gap
Don’t worry about the gap. The infamous “gap” is, literally, a tiny gap which occasionally occurs between a carriage in the London Underground and the train platform. These gaps occur at stations with curved platforms. Although you wouldn’t want to find that you were standing in the gap when the train begins to move, this is a very unlikely scenario, and I think you can safely mind your own business without worrying too much about the gap.
3. Stand on the right, walk on the left
This is rule applies on escalators and moving walkways on the Underground and at airports. If you are not walking up the escalator/walkway, stand to the right and allow others to do so. Department store escalators apparently do not seem to come within the remit of this rule.
4. Don’t wander around looking easy to mug/pickpocket
Be aware of your surroundings, no matter where you are. I’ve rarely felt uneasy, but then this is now my home.
5. Try not to speak too loudly on public transport
Except when everyone on the Tube/bus is drunk (e.g. Saturday night), people generally keep to themselves and will do everything they can to avoid eye contact. In addition to this, most people regard it as an imposition to have to listen to your conversation, let alone being asked (explicitly or implicitly) to participate.
